Monday, April 10, 2006

To Georgie, from Sheikh Mo, CEO DP World

Dear Georgie,

I hope this letter finds you, your wife and Condi in the best of health. Allah-wa-Amin. I understand you just returned from your trip to Pakistan and India. I had been waiting for your holiday trip to get over. I did not want to disturb you while you were partying it hard with Mushy and Mani. Aren't they both adorable, esp. Mani. He is just so cute, just like a cuddly puppy. You should not have never frisked him at the airport, he is very harmless. Mushy called me the other day and didn't see too happy with the nuclear deal you just signed with India. Well, its between you and him but I think you should throw few F-16s at him just to keep him quite for now. International politics is not my cup of kehwah but it sure seems as interesting as a good Bollywood movie. That reminds me that they recently made a very good cartoon on an Indian God. I think you should check it out for since you adore cartoons. I am sure you will find it as entertaining as SpongeBob.

Now I must get to the point of sending this letter. Georgie, we all know how much you tried and worked for our American ports deal to get through but it seems the Congress is not in the mood for it. Hence, I am going to back off from this deal and transfer the interests to an American company. Of course, it will be an American company of our choice, perhaps Dick Cheney's Halliburton. Jazakallah, Congress still does not know how we control it through other Dubai-owned companies. Georgie, you don't have to worry about a single thing. I am not going to hold this against you at all. Mashallah, you have been a very good friend of ours and your always welcomed to stay at Burj-al-Arab's Buggs Bunny suite. We know how much you enjoyed it last time. Also, you don't have to worry about you dad's job at Carlyle Group. I have spoken to my cousin and have instructed him not to take any unnecessary steps.

Georgie, I just don't understand how your people could not see us as good people. Just like all American women are not as sexy as Jennifer Lopez, you should tell your people that all Arabs are not linked to terrorism. I have instructed my people to hire some American celebrities to carry out our PR job. Clinton and Madeline Albright have not done a good job at our PR. I think your people pay more attention to Entertainment Tonight, Extra and Hollywood Access than CNN and Fox News. Georgie, I think I am going to ask J-Lo to take care of this issue. She has been very nice and understanding so far, if you know what I mean ;)

However, Georgie, there is one thing that has been bothering me for the past few days and I was not sure how to bring it up with you. Georgie, as you had expressed your interests in working in Dubai after your presidency, I gave your resume to my HR Person. Unfortunately, according to HR, they have a very strict policy of hiring candidates with good educational credentials irrespective of their experience and political status. And your record is not that clear. Georgie, you are like a brother to me but I cannot do much in this area. You know we are trying to run our companies on WTO standards and practise complete accountability, the American way. Even my son is doing his MBA at University of California, San Diego so that he can work for DP World after me. You must understand my position. I hope you can enroll in a Masters program soon after your presidency and then there should not be a problem for you to get a job in Dubai, Inshallah.

Till then, may Allah bestow his blessings upon you and your family.

Fiamaan illaah

Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum (Sheikh Mo)
CEO, Dubai Ports World

Post borrowed from Abrar's Murgha of the Day


Abrar said...

Thanks Hasan for putting my post on your blog!! I can swear to you I have a good feeling that Sheikh Moe DID actually write soemthing like this to Georgie after the whole port deal fiasco!! hahahahah!!

Trailady said...

This is funny! I am laughing so hard!!

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

That was hilarious!!!

black feline said...

is it tongue in the cheeks or for real? lol

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