Saturday, November 12, 2005

Humor from Great Minds

“As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...”
Sir Norman Wisdom

“One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.”
Edgar Watson Howe

“A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!”
Doug Larson

“A harmful truth is always better then...a useful lie!”
Eric Bolton

“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.”
Erno Philips

“ I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.”
Robert Paul

“We spend the first twelve months of our children's liv! es teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.”
Phyllis Diller

“Laughter is the closest distance between two people.”
Victor Borge

“Start every day with a smile and get it over with.”
W.C. Fields

“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.”
Will Rogers

“Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.”
Mickey Rooney

“Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children.
Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.”
Tim Allen

“If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks.”
Rita Rudner

“I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
Woody Allen

“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.”
Erica Jong

“Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive.”
Elbert Hubbard

“Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.”
Wendell Johnson

“I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.”
Henry Youngman

11 comments:

Raheel said...

LMAO.. that was a rocking post man!

Mickey Rooney is correct.. Britney got married in morning. bwahhahaha - remember las vegas thingy

Deb S. said...

These are great! Thanks. BTW, I've added you to my Blogroll.

AsianSmiles said...

LOL!

another good post Mr H!
keep it coming!

Rose said...

See I love these quotes. They are great....

aYeShA said...

i agree with quotes

Hasan Mubarak said...

raheel! don't you thing Britney's marriage was too short in time to be a declared a marriage??

dcs: thanks for adding me. keep coming...

asiansmiles: thanks for liking!

rose: i love these too only because all of them are quite true..

ayesha: i too do agree wid them

Brea said...

This is a great collection of quotes.

Shirazi said...

Nice. Nice.

bart said...

nice collection of quotes :D
i'll nick one or two of those some time ;-)

Sana said...

very nice ! they r gr8 man....i wanted to know from where u get them very awesome collection gud!keep it up buddy!

Anonymous said...

Those quotes were really mindblowing . hope u r gona' bring some more.

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